Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
