You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
