Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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