You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
