So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
