Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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