my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
