now i know why i became what i already was.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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