I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
