Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
high people should be assigned attendants
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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