I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
