Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
