You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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