You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
