this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
