Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
All the doctor said was why
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
