Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
