You made me cry and you don't even care
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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