i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
