then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
