Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
