we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
