You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
