It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
