she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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