Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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