why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
