I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
