Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
