i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
