He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
