How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
where am i from again
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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