I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
