I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
