I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
