Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
