i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
