party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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