Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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