he told me I talked like a deaf person
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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