Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
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Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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