btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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