dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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