dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
