her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
