There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
