My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
