Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
