dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
