I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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