Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't think brook has ever known best
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize