i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
