You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
