My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
