Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
