I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
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If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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