i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
