Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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