That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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