Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
