We won't sleep together?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
