You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
