Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
