I think im going to throw up on grandma
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
