you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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