Jerry, you need to find god
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
